F you Simply Sleep

This past weekend a few of us went camping. I would first like to say that I do enjoy camping and I am good at it. Apparently, I do not look like the camping type. APPARENTLY, it is assumed that I am too prissy for it. Not showering for a few days? You can't handle it Lauren. Peeing behind a rock. Yeah right, Lauren. Well you know what? Screw all of you nay-sayers. I am a legitimate camper. I spit on pop-ups and people who bring tv's and "toilets". I am hardcore.

The only part of camping that I do not like is the "nature" part of it all. I mean, I like the outdoors and I love campfires and sleeping next to a river and all that. I do not like spiders, bees, bears, mountain lions, and whatever else can eat me, bite me, or sting me. This being said, whenever we go camping, I don't sleep. Like, at all. I lie awake the entire night waiting for a bear to rip through the tent and eat me, then Kenny, then the girls for dessert. Kris told me that she takes Tylenol PM when we go camping so she sleeps better. AWESOME. Why didn't I think of that? I went to Target the next day and bought some Simply Sleep. Friday night I was so excited to take it and to be able to sleep though the night. To sleep at all actually. Yeah. Right. Friday night was long and sleepless and I didn't fall asleep until the sun started to rise on Saturday morning. To add insult to injury, the girls refuse to sleep in their own sleeping bag-they totally have their own mini bag. Not 30 minutes after we went to bed, they decided they wanted to be with me, in mine. I have a mummy bag that fits me comfortably, aside form being a bit too short. Add two little dogs, and forget it. So, I stayed in my bag all night, not moving for fear of suffocating a dog, awake, and waiting for the sun to come up so I could catch some zzzz's. The part that pisses me off the most is that Kenny barely hits the pillow and he is out for the entire night.

Saturday, I said shag it and I was going to double up. It had to do something if I took twice the recommended amount. Nope. Nothing. F you Simply Sleep. Next time, maybe I will just take some shots of jager and hopefully pass out.

Weekend was fun, however 5 total hours of sleep over an entire weekend is not ok.

Shepherds pie

We are going camping this weekend and I was trying to think of something different to make. We usually have the normal stew, brats, burgers, etc.....

I decided on Shepherds pie. It has always been one of my favorite meals. Comfort food is the best!

It's your neeeeewwwwwwwwww bike!

Kenny has been eyeing the new Harley Davidson VRod Muscle and wanted to see if we could make the numbers work so he could trade in his 2003 Harley Vrod. He drove down to the dealership in Pueblo (Long story short, a sales person at Harley here in town leaves a lot to be desired) and talked to the guys down there. The financial stuff all made sense, so all that was left to do was pick the color.

It doesn't matter if Kenny is buying shoes, peanut butter, or a motorcycle-he cannot make a decision! When we shop for shoes, he goes to one store, and we spend a good hour or two in there. He will try shoes on two or three times and still has cognitive dissonance when we leave. It may very well be the death of me. So, Kenny calls me at work and asks if I can meet him down there to look at the silver bike. He doesn't know if he wants the silver or black one. We had seen the black one here in town earlier in the week.

Silver or black.

I left work and drove 45 minutes to look at a color. Seriously.

This is a picture of the new bike, and I have to say the picture does it no justice. It is so much better in person! We both love it, and I am pretty sure if I allowed it, he would be sleeping next to it in the garage.

Post Secret

Have you seen this site? I love it. I can imagine it would be therapeutic for people to send in their "secrets postcard" completely anonymous for the world (internet folk) to see. I may just send in one of my own...

UPDATE: I sent one in and none of you will ever know which one it is.

What the deuce, man

I love Kenny. I adore Kenny. I know how Kenny is when it comes to matters of the backside, and I still love him.

I do not love that Kenny feels the need to leave the bathroom door open when he is dropping a deuce “for better acoustics” or how he describes, in great detail, the piece of crap that just wouldn’t flush. Is it essential that I know this? Does it benefit me in any way? No. He also thinks that when he is in the bathroom, that is an excellent time to catch up with friends/family.

Note: If you ever talk to Kenny on the phone and there is an echo, there is a 99% chance he is on the pot.

Food critic debut, sort of

Last night, my mom took Kenny and I out for my birthday dinner. I chose the Plate. If you're Colorado folk, I highly recommend it. It was fabulous. We ordered calamari for an appetizer. To reveal how classy I am, I will let you know that I have only ever consumed it breaded or fried. Never have I had it "au natural" in sauce. At first I was a bit afraid of the little rubber bands in marinara sauce, but decided to jump in head first-they were fantastic! For my main course, I ordered the kobe hanger with scallops. The server asked how I wanted my kobe cooked and I said medium-well. After she left I asked Kenny if I should have asked for it medium. He then reminded me of the time I ordered a buffalo steak medium and when I cut into it, it bled on my plate and all over my mashed potatoes. I was trying really hard to not complain about my food, and I know a lot of meat is better cooked medium or even medium rare. Instead, I just sat there and didn't say a word. Kenny looked over at me and said, "Are you crying?" I was totally tearing up as I was chewing on the way-too-undercooked (in my opinion) steak. It was grossing me out so bad that tears were filling my eyes. I cannot eat a meal involving meat with Kenny bringing that up. Anyways, I kept the Kobe medium-well, which really was overcooked a bit. Never satisfied. The scallops were perfect. For dessert, I ordered the brown sugar butter pecan cheesecake and OH MY GOD. I love all of those things separate, so together? Amazing! My mojito was the only mediocre thing I got there. It tasted like seltzer lime and nothing else. I have only been craving one for like 3 months. Way to wreck that one! Ever since they put that Bacardi commercial on tv. You know, the one with the dancing and the ch, ch, ch sound? Ring any bells? No? Fine.

My mom ordered the filet and Kenny had mussels, Italian sausage, and sea bass. Mmmmmm's were heard all around.

OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod

It's my birthday today!!!!! I don't know why I have always adored this particular day-more than Christmas, Easter, and EVEN St. Patrick's Day! It's not like anything mind blowing ever happens. Well, I guess making it another year is pretty impressive. Happy birthday to me!

A birthday present

Kenny gave me the blanket I wanted for my birthday and I LOVE it. I told him he will have to get one of his own because I am not willing to share it with him. However, the girls don't really seem to listen when I tell them the same thing.

UPDATE: Clementine chewed a fucking hole in my blanket 4 days after I got it.

Strawberry Pretzel Salad

I totally realize that is sounds kindof weird, maybe even gross, but it so good! My supervisor brought it to work one day and I could have eaten the whole thing.

2 C crushed pretzel sticks
3/4 C melted butter

3 Tbsp sugar

8 oz cream cheese

1 C sugar

8 oz Cool Whip

1 (6 oz) pkg. strawberry banana Jello

2 C boiling water

2 (10 oz) pkgs. frozen strawberries, partially thawed

Mix first three ingredients and press in bottom of a 9"x13" pan. Bake at 350 degrees (metal pan) or 325 degrees (glass pan) 8 minutes. Let cool completely. Beat 1 cup sugar and cream cheese. Fold in Cool Whip. Spread over pretzels. Mix Jello and water until dissolved. Add strawberries. Stir into Jello, then set aside for 10 minutes. Pour over cheese mixture. Chill.